Wednesday, April 25, 2007 ; 6:00 PM {♥}
I feel this emptiness.
Inside of me, I fell hollow. I don't understand why but I realised that my reltionship with my friends are looking like they are one-sided. I just don't seem to understand this whole thing. I feel like I'm not needed within the group. As if I'm the one hopelessly clinging on to them. It is as if they totally do not welcome me or something. Maybe it isn't that they don't welcome me but that they don't mind me sticking with them but they are totally fine and might be even happier without me. Nobody wants to wait for me if I have something on but I'm always expected to wait for them when they have something on. Nobody cares about me at all, truly, they just dont't give a damn. And this feeling makes me want to just grab a wall to knock my head into and die a horrible death. Even if I did that, I bet they won't give a damn too. They will just walk over and give a scoff, then walk away again.
Then here's another question to ask, will anyone give a damn when I'm gone? I'd bet not. So I shouldn't even exist, I shouldn't even be wasting the air in the atmosphere by breathing it in. I should just die.
the sun is setting,
and at the end of the day,
I'm left once again, alone.
In darkness, as the black envelope me.
In despair as my shoulders sagged.
sobbing, uncontrollably as I released my emotions.
But then nobody cares.
I'm left alone on purpose.
By all those whom I thought were friends
But I'm alone and always
just've been clinging on desperately.
Labels: diary
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
