Sunday, June 29, 2008 ; 5:20 PM {♥}
Felt like writing a short story, so here's a random one :D
I always thought you and I were the best of friends. I remember how you used to hold my hand in yours, though my large hands were always a trouble for you because you were so small. “We’re best friends, aren’t we?” You used to tell me, smiling with all certainty. And I remember how I used to nod in agreement and smile back.
I remember the time we spent walking home everyday. With you, it was just so much fun. We would laugh at the latest jokes, share all of our favourite sweets and talk about almost everything. I can never forget your girlish giggles when I told you the silly things my cat did last night and those buttered toffees, caramel candies, watermelon sweet sticks and coloured jellybeans that we would trade each other. How we talked about the world as we sucked on our butterscotch. It didn’t matter if raindrops as big as bullets were raining down on us or if the summer heat simmered us. We didn’t care if we would reach home drenched in either sweat or rain. All it mattered were the joys and laughter of the walks we took home.
I remember how we met ever so clearly, just like it happened yesterday even though it was something from years ago. I remember how we grew close together, how we started sticking together like glue. It was in elementary school. I had been an outcast, despised and disliked because of my size. I was bigger than most of the children, even the boys. They were scared of me. Everyday, they would whisper names behind my back.
“Hey look, it is that giant girl again. Beware of her! I heard she eats naughty children.”
Everyone would gasp as they heard this and give me those dodgy stares again. It was until playtime one day, when I met you. I was alone again, looking for a quiet spot to waste away my playtime as usual. Then from a corner, I saw you. The boys were pushing you into the corner. They like to pick on you because you were always the smallest kid. And then, something struck me. I didn’t know if it was the look of fear in your face or was it the realization that we are two of the same people that made me want to help you, but I decided for once, to step out. We were two people thrown out of acceptance because we had different appearances. With all the courage and strength, I shoved the boys away and growled at them. They were cowards, always afraid of me. In the next instant, they were gone. And it was the start of our friendship.
We were such close friends. Until the day you betrayed me.
I remember, we got into the same high school like we wanted to. Both of us wanted to get into the cheerleading club. But it was kind of impossible for us. The cheerleading club was a club only for the popular girls and I could never do those stunts so gracefully because I was so big and clumsy. But you were different from me. I knew that you could do every stunt almost perfectly because you were so petite and perfect for the role. I knew you had a chance. I encouraged you to audition for it and everyday, I stayed back to watch you practice. Even though I couldn’t join the cheerleading club, I wanted you to fulfil my dream for me. In the end, you got in because of your amazing ability. I was so happy for you I cried. But who knew, that your admission into the club was the start your betrayal. If I had ever known, I would have stopped you from joining the club.
Under the cherry blossom tree that day, you told me you would never forget me and everything I had done for you. But you were wrong.
Slowly, we began to drift apart. Like twigs on a river, we floated apart. Further and further you went away from me. At first, you started to go home with your club mates after club activities even though I offered to wait for you. You said you didn’t want to waste my time but that was just an excuse wasn’t it? Then you stopped going home with me completely, and even though we were in the same class, we hardly talked much after you changed seats so you could sit with Ayame who was also in the cheerleading club. Then one day, you came to school with a new look, boasting to the whole class that the cheerleading club gave you a makeover. From simple plain old Rinko, you became the prettiest girl in class and everyone wanted to be your friend. While you flirted with the boys and got all the attention, I was watching from the corner, alone, with no one by my side. I wanted you back.
I asked to talk to you during lunch break one day. You agreed. It was that day when you broke my heart.
“You are wasting my time. I don’t have such an ugly giant girl as my friend! Goodbye, forever, Junko. Forget all the times we’ve spent, I was a fool to have you as a friend.” You sneered at me, didn’t you?
Everyone could sneer at me, make jokes about me, call me stupid ugly names like “Giant Girl” but, I never ever once thought that one day, you might be doing all those things.
After you left, I cried and ran away from school. Though, you probably didn’t notice that I didn’t come back for lessons. You probably didn’t care.
The two weeks after you hurt me seemed so bleak and gloomy to me now. I couldn’t even remember what I was doing. I felt numb yet I was hurting. I was breathing yet I wasn’t alive. It was ironical and yet, there was no remedy for the feeling I felt, the torture I endured. Yet, you probably won’t give a shit about that. After that, I got on. I realised what a waste of time it was thinking about you. I changed. Something about you made me change. I used to think that it doesn’t matter what the world thought of me just as long as you didn’t think the same. Everything used to be about you, but no, not this time. I changed my looks, started paying more attention to appearances, started to talk to people more.
Soon, I was a normal teenager again. Even though I was still big sized, I wasn’t that quiet and useless girl. I made people laugh and they enjoyed my company. I lost weight and I wasn’t fat but just tall now. I wasn’t that much of a “Giant Girl” anymore.
Years went by and I lead my life while you lead yours. Our lives never crossed again. Until now, as I read this letter, I finally understand that everything I thought was right, is wrong.
Dear Junko,
It’s me, Rinko. I didn’t write my name on the envelope because I knew that if I did, you probably wouldn’t open the letter. When you read this letter, it means, I’m probably not here anymore.
How have you been? There’s so many things that I would like to say but yet, as I write this letter, I’ve suddenly lost all my words. I think the only thing I can come up with is… I’m sorry. You probably think that this apology came too late, but nevertheless, I want you to know that I truly feel sorry about how things turned out.
I know you probably want to know what happened between us so I will tell you everything since it’s my last chance now. I remember that everything started when I joined the cheerleading club. I found out something urgent and important about myself and I was forced to plan for the future then.
I thought about a lot of things. But mostly, it was about you. What were you going to do if I left this world? We only had each other. I knew exactly what would have happened to you if you knew I would be going. I know after I’m gone, you would close your heart to the world so that you can remember me. But no, that it not what I want. You cannot possibly be happy like that. So I came up with a scheme, to make you forget me. I distanced myself away from you. And soon, you realised that we needed to sort things out. I knew then that I had to deal a blow to you so you could give up on me and carry on.
I sorry I ever called you “Giant Girl”. It was never true. It was never how I felt. I am truly sorry for doing those terrible things to you. It didn’t feel any better watching your heart break from the corner of my eyes when I was flirting with the boys and chatting with the girls. All I wanted was you, but I knew I had to let you go. I’m sorry, Junko, for everything.
But I want you to remember the words I said the day I knew I got into the cheerleading club. Do you remember those words I said under the cherry blossom tree? I would never forget. I will never forget you and everything you have done for me.
Please don’t cry when you read this letter. It wasn’t meant to make you feel bad. I just wanted you to know that you’ve always had me for a friend and you will always have. I would never forget those walks home together. Just you, I, caramel candies and buttered toffees. Those were the best times of my life. But now, I have to say goodbye. My time is running short… I just wanted to let you know how much I love you.
Goodbye, Junko, be happy forever!
Your best friend,
Rinko
What a fool I had been to not realise that I wasn't the only one in pain. Now I only regret not realizing the fake smiles you've put up for me.
It was only later when I found out, Rinko had passed away because of brain cancer.
Everything you've done for me, I can never forget now. I know you can never forget me either. I'm glad I was born a giant, so I could meet you. I'm glad I scared those boys off so that we could become the bestest of friends, just like we still are now.
That is the reason why I can never forget my best friend, Rinko. I love you too.
Labels: short stories
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
