Sunday, June 29, 2008 ; 5:20 PM {♥}
Felt like writing a short story, so here's a random one :D
I always thought you and I were the best of friends. I remember how you used to hold my hand in yours, though my large hands were always a trouble for you because you were so small. “We’re best friends, aren’t we?” You used to tell me, smiling with all certainty. And I remember how I used to nod in agreement and smile back.
I remember the time we spent walking home everyday. With you, it was just so much fun. We would laugh at the latest jokes, share all of our favourite sweets and talk about almost everything. I can never forget your girlish giggles when I told you the silly things my cat did last night and those buttered toffees, caramel candies, watermelon sweet sticks and coloured jellybeans that we would trade each other. How we talked about the world as we sucked on our butterscotch. It didn’t matter if raindrops as big as bullets were raining down on us or if the summer heat simmered us. We didn’t care if we would reach home drenched in either sweat or rain. All it mattered were the joys and laughter of the walks we took home.
I remember how we met ever so clearly, just like it happened yesterday even though it was something from years ago. I remember how we grew close together, how we started sticking together like glue. It was in elementary school. I had been an outcast, despised and disliked because of my size. I was bigger than most of the children, even the boys. They were scared of me. Everyday, they would whisper names behind my back.
“Hey look, it is that giant girl again. Beware of her! I heard she eats naughty children.”
Everyone would gasp as they heard this and give me those dodgy stares again. It was until playtime one day, when I met you. I was alone again, looking for a quiet spot to waste away my playtime as usual. Then from a corner, I saw you. The boys were pushing you into the corner. They like to pick on you because you were always the smallest kid. And then, something struck me. I didn’t know if it was the look of fear in your face or was it the realization that we are two of the same people that made me want to help you, but I decided for once, to step out. We were two people thrown out of acceptance because we had different appearances. With all the courage and strength, I shoved the boys away and growled at them. They were cowards, always afraid of me. In the next instant, they were gone. And it was the start of our friendship.
We were such close friends. Until the day you betrayed me.
I remember, we got into the same high school like we wanted to. Both of us wanted to get into the cheerleading club. But it was kind of impossible for us. The cheerleading club was a club only for the popular girls and I could never do those stunts so gracefully because I was so big and clumsy. But you were different from me. I knew that you could do every stunt almost perfectly because you were so petite and perfect for the role. I knew you had a chance. I encouraged you to audition for it and everyday, I stayed back to watch you practice. Even though I couldn’t join the cheerleading club, I wanted you to fulfil my dream for me. In the end, you got in because of your amazing ability. I was so happy for you I cried. But who knew, that your admission into the club was the start your betrayal. If I had ever known, I would have stopped you from joining the club.
Under the cherry blossom tree that day, you told me you would never forget me and everything I had done for you. But you were wrong.
Slowly, we began to drift apart. Like twigs on a river, we floated apart. Further and further you went away from me. At first, you started to go home with your club mates after club activities even though I offered to wait for you. You said you didn’t want to waste my time but that was just an excuse wasn’t it? Then you stopped going home with me completely, and even though we were in the same class, we hardly talked much after you changed seats so you could sit with Ayame who was also in the cheerleading club. Then one day, you came to school with a new look, boasting to the whole class that the cheerleading club gave you a makeover. From simple plain old Rinko, you became the prettiest girl in class and everyone wanted to be your friend. While you flirted with the boys and got all the attention, I was watching from the corner, alone, with no one by my side. I wanted you back.
I asked to talk to you during lunch break one day. You agreed. It was that day when you broke my heart.
“You are wasting my time. I don’t have such an ugly giant girl as my friend! Goodbye, forever, Junko. Forget all the times we’ve spent, I was a fool to have you as a friend.” You sneered at me, didn’t you?
Everyone could sneer at me, make jokes about me, call me stupid ugly names like “Giant Girl” but, I never ever once thought that one day, you might be doing all those things.
After you left, I cried and ran away from school. Though, you probably didn’t notice that I didn’t come back for lessons. You probably didn’t care.
The two weeks after you hurt me seemed so bleak and gloomy to me now. I couldn’t even remember what I was doing. I felt numb yet I was hurting. I was breathing yet I wasn’t alive. It was ironical and yet, there was no remedy for the feeling I felt, the torture I endured. Yet, you probably won’t give a shit about that. After that, I got on. I realised what a waste of time it was thinking about you. I changed. Something about you made me change. I used to think that it doesn’t matter what the world thought of me just as long as you didn’t think the same. Everything used to be about you, but no, not this time. I changed my looks, started paying more attention to appearances, started to talk to people more.
Soon, I was a normal teenager again. Even though I was still big sized, I wasn’t that quiet and useless girl. I made people laugh and they enjoyed my company. I lost weight and I wasn’t fat but just tall now. I wasn’t that much of a “Giant Girl” anymore.
Years went by and I lead my life while you lead yours. Our lives never crossed again. Until now, as I read this letter, I finally understand that everything I thought was right, is wrong.
Dear Junko,
It’s me, Rinko. I didn’t write my name on the envelope because I knew that if I did, you probably wouldn’t open the letter. When you read this letter, it means, I’m probably not here anymore.
How have you been? There’s so many things that I would like to say but yet, as I write this letter, I’ve suddenly lost all my words. I think the only thing I can come up with is… I’m sorry. You probably think that this apology came too late, but nevertheless, I want you to know that I truly feel sorry about how things turned out.
I know you probably want to know what happened between us so I will tell you everything since it’s my last chance now. I remember that everything started when I joined the cheerleading club. I found out something urgent and important about myself and I was forced to plan for the future then.
I thought about a lot of things. But mostly, it was about you. What were you going to do if I left this world? We only had each other. I knew exactly what would have happened to you if you knew I would be going. I know after I’m gone, you would close your heart to the world so that you can remember me. But no, that it not what I want. You cannot possibly be happy like that. So I came up with a scheme, to make you forget me. I distanced myself away from you. And soon, you realised that we needed to sort things out. I knew then that I had to deal a blow to you so you could give up on me and carry on.
I sorry I ever called you “Giant Girl”. It was never true. It was never how I felt. I am truly sorry for doing those terrible things to you. It didn’t feel any better watching your heart break from the corner of my eyes when I was flirting with the boys and chatting with the girls. All I wanted was you, but I knew I had to let you go. I’m sorry, Junko, for everything.
But I want you to remember the words I said the day I knew I got into the cheerleading club. Do you remember those words I said under the cherry blossom tree? I would never forget. I will never forget you and everything you have done for me.
Please don’t cry when you read this letter. It wasn’t meant to make you feel bad. I just wanted you to know that you’ve always had me for a friend and you will always have. I would never forget those walks home together. Just you, I, caramel candies and buttered toffees. Those were the best times of my life. But now, I have to say goodbye. My time is running short… I just wanted to let you know how much I love you.
Goodbye, Junko, be happy forever!
Your best friend,
Rinko
What a fool I had been to not realise that I wasn't the only one in pain. Now I only regret not realizing the fake smiles you've put up for me.
It was only later when I found out, Rinko had passed away because of brain cancer.
Everything you've done for me, I can never forget now. I know you can never forget me either. I'm glad I was born a giant, so I could meet you. I'm glad I scared those boys off so that we could become the bestest of friends, just like we still are now.
That is the reason why I can never forget my best friend, Rinko. I love you too.
Labels: short stories
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
Thursday, June 26, 2008 ; 10:57 PM {♥}
OKAY. this week totally zoomed by me XD
TWO THINGS I STILL
CAN'T BELIEVE UNTIL NOW.
1) I AM THE TEMPORARY (AND HOPEFULLY, PERMANENT TOO) YEAR TWO SQUAD LEADER XD This is my dream job! OHMYGOD, the seniors are just SO nice to pick me. I feel loved!
2) The deal we hooked up for practising outside the band room yesterday!
I mean like, it's that incredible or what?
WAKAKAKAKA! Let's work hard again this term! Photos only after I change my blogskin!
-YOSHI! GANBATTE!~
I'm trying to draw you back to me. Closer and closer! Let's clasp our hands together to form the glue that will stick us close.
I don't want you to lose me again. Cause I don't want to lose you. I don't know what happened between us, but let it be over NOW.
Labels: diary
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
Saturday, June 14, 2008 ; 12:03 PM {♥}
Brisbane, mmm, lovely place.
I just can't believe that I'm back. Why don't you just shoot me for not staying back in Brisbane with the lovely winter and cool breezes?!
Whatever. Bloody, hot, sweaty, dung-hill-of-a-place Singapore. Argh.
I bring to you :Brisbane trip, the ultimate experience :D
Day One
Okay, so I was hovering around my house half afraid that I was going to leave something behind and half excited. Well, then a whole day passed finally and after a long and difficult struggle with my dog and my family, we were leaving for the airport. Well, never been to terminal three in my whole life until that day. I tell you, it looks lovely. I was in a bouncing mood, haha. I was bouncing to find everyone and after checking in the luggage, I bounced around to talk to everyone again. YAY! let's just skip all the boring airport parts and get on to the plane :D
So... I was sitting with Isabelle on one side and Sherwin on the other haha. Not to forget Kim Siang behind Sherwin and Kahmin in front of me and Joanna right at the window seat! The journey was fun. I didn't sleep much but I did finish watching the Horton movie! Yays for me! It was so darn funny I was laughing to myself. Guess, I must've looked weird laughing alone on the airplane. But whatever :D I caught a little bit of step up 2 and what else...? Powerpuff girls? Haha, just a little I guess. The food was not bad so I don't understand why Javier doesn't like it? Nevermind, shall not admit that my tastebuds are similar to Nicholas's who calls airplane food heavenly. After a few hours of tossing and turning, we reached Brisbane! CHEERS!
Day two
Oh, I have to mention this guy who helped me with the checking of luggage content. He was oh-so-very-nice :D He tried to converse with me in Mandarin and he even said that I was pretty (in mandarin, of course). How sweet, right? You don't see these kind of officers in Singapore very often :/ Anyway, we were in Bus B! Cheers for trombones! And maybe basses and clarinets... but not so many cheers as trombones! Well, first stop... MOVIE WORLD. Wow... It was grand, man. the first thing you see when you step inside is... The Superman Escape. Which is a super thrill rollercoaster ride that has these crazy bright red loops where you see people go round in. Being the scaredy-cat me, I, obviously didn't try it :D Anyway, guess what was the first thing we tried? Haha, it was the road runner rollercoaster (for kids). ROFL, yeah, we're nothing but a bunch of babies. But hey, it was fun :D Then we were totally excited as we queued up to watch the Shrek 4D Adventures. Oh that was lovely, nice effects, if you ever go there, you MUST try it out. Gingy was looking so adorable in the movie! Oh yes, next was batman's ride 2 =.= All I can see is... Batwoamn is one heck of a lousy driver. Hullo?! Go take lessons from the Batman! Oh yes, I bought Gingy, did I mention that? He is so cute. Haha, no photos this time but maybe later. After that, I can't really remember what other things happened other than Terence dropping his ice-cream on the floor and many people being late. Okay, so after that we were headed to our hotel which was nothing like what I imagined it to be but nonetheless, quite cosy I guess. Dinner was at some golden palace or something. Chinese food in Brisbane =.=
Day three
St Andrew's Anglican college exchange :/ Er, I was kind of unstable then and said loads of horrible things about our school. Like... Boring, Boring like hell, Small, Tiny, Lame, suck-ish =.=? What else? Well, it was quite true actually. I mean the education they receive there is like... really all-rounded. Singapore education, especially IP is more like... educating us to become useless nerds who can only 1) study 2) STUDY 3) STUDY SOMEMORE 4) KEEP STUDYING 5) STUDY TO YOUR GRAVE.
Yeah, I mean we don't have art lessons, or culinary classes, or woodcrafting classes. We aren't trained to have other skills other than the ability the acheive high results? What kind of outstanding student is that? We are just becoming spoilt, nerdy, incapable students who can't live without their mothers or maids :/ but whatever, shall not continue this gloomy topic.
Went shopping at Montville next. Great place, but I didn't get to buy the fudge which was the ultimate thing you should buy there =.= other than that, I even returned to the bus late. After that, not so much a great day anymore.
Day four
Woke up late! YAY! went to redlands. Met a very nice third trombone friend named Matt :D Both Benjamin and I liked him a lot. I daresay he was the most friendly and amiable trombonist there. How adorable! "I'm a die-hard x-box fan >:D" -quotes from Matt. Haha, he was so friendly and talkative thought he talked to Benjamin more probably because I'm a girl and it's harder for him to approach me. Either that or Benjamin's prettier than me. I dunno :D Jupiter Hymn, the new song, was easy for the bass line so, thank god. Someone got pissed at someone today, I think. Can't really remember =.= All I remember is... LOVELY AUSTRALIAN DESSERT. It was heaven!!! CHEESCAKES, CHOCOLATE CAKES, APPLE PIES, FRUIT CAKES, BUTTERED CREAM CAKES, BROWNIES! I just can't possibly list all of them out >:) Too bad you weren't there.
Day five
Concert night was awesome. We had pizza cakes but the bad thing... we were forced to finish our rice first. Ahem, here comes Mr Ng; "Ooh, what is this? Chocolate cake?! Yumyum, whoa, it's good!" >:( Mr Ng took a piece of cake to tempt us as we ate our rice in misery. But nevermind, I finished all my rice (left the veggies) and raced to the cakes, the fruits, the pizza! I got them in the end!
The concert was great. They said it was better than Rhythmn >:D
Day six
Fruit Farm! It was fun! We got to try fresh fruits. Mmmm, yumyum! Don't believe them when they say Lemonade isn't sour. It's only a little better than lemon. Oh yes, had lots of fun on the tram ride or whatever you call it. Amazing place. Poor Wenlin was too happy and fell down on her back. Get well soon! The food was great too. Nice view, nice food. haha!
Concert at the old museum building was awesome. Three trombones but they were loud as hell. I admire you, bass trombonist... my hero! haha... Si Hui was nodding off the whole time. And there wer refreshments during interval. Mmm...
Day seven
Dreamworld was kind of boring for me. Overall, I felt left out but then again... you don't want to hear me yapping about my sadness. I guess it could've been fun! Go check out the other banders' blogs and you will know.
Shopping was kind of a dissappointment because... it was a holiday and all the shops were closing =.= DAMN. Well, at least I got to buy my jacket and my hat from the store called...
THE JAYJAYS
Was so tired at the airport I fell asleep sitting on the floor. On the plane, I promised to talk to ChingYing but guess what? I was knocked out before I knew it. Haha, I was halfway through Definitely, Maybe even =.= Couldn't even wake when the attendant asked me what I would like for breakfast. ZZZ. So sorry, Chingying.
And that's all... might zoom by for photos but highly unlikely to be anytime soon.
Buh-bye!
Tag replies.
Rumeng// I know I did luh :D
Terence// Of course you love us luh. We are like so great. ROFL
Isabelle// Oops! Haha, don't tell anyone about the wire :/
Dilys// Yay, same to you!
JY// Haha, moron! jkjk, same to you, all time crapper :D
Roy// =.= Kagemane no jutsu? haha...
Weijie// why you all go play solo challenge? haha =.= cooking the dish more fun what.
XingQi// BOO. haha, so lousy =.= I got gold leh. haha, 100 points!
BinBin// Okay, see you so nice, I go tag you... :D
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
