Friday, October 24, 2008 ; 10:49 PM {♥}
Too much emo things. GayJay isn't supposed to be emo! I'm gay, remember? Wakaka. Here's a quiz from bin.
1) The person who tagged: Binx2 -.-
2) Your relationship with him/her is: My youngest daughter ._.
3) Your five impressions of him/her:
short :D
Likes to do dumb things (like calling pizza hut and telling them her no. is 62353535)
laughs and talks damn loudly (she inheirted my genes luh)
Is the cutest person you'll ever meet!
4) The most memorable thing that he/she had done for you: She brings joy to my life!
5) The most memorable thing that he/she had said to you: Just bin it!
6) If he/she becomes your lover, you will: I will not resort to being a pedophile and commit incest at the same time when I have my harem of bishies.
7) If he/she becomes your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be: Her rashness >:D (Hell knows no fury like BinBin's wrath)
8) If he/she becomes your enemy, you will: Pacify her? I'm a pacifist kay? WORLD PEACE!
9) If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be: I got on her nerves by teasing her too much?
10) The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is: Play Patapon with her!
11) Your overall impression of him/her is: A crazy and vulgur woman who makes you laugh and love her :D
12) How you think people around you will feel about you? Most probably, irritating?
13) The characteristics you love of yourself are: I carry out reflections constantly.
14) On the contrary, the characteristics you hate of yourself are: I tend to irritate people by not knowing what the right thing to say is.
15) The most ideal person you want to be is: Never a hypocrite. I hope to at least be true to myself.
16) For people who care for and like you, say something to them: Even if our amiable feelings may not last forever, remember that at least I've loved you and never doubt my feeling before even if it were to change in the future.
17) Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you?
1. clarissa
2. bernice
3. chervelle
4. edric?
5. wenlin
6. kengheng
7. sophin
8. NingQian
9. SuanYing
10. Fion
18) Who is no.6 having relationship with? (kengheng) *coughs*sophin*coughs* Erm, I ddn't say anything?
19) Is no. 9 a male or female? (SuanYing) female and proud to be part of the lametrios with crappy theories.
20) If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing? (sophin and fion) Well, they are kind of like the same kind of people even if they don't know eatch other ._.
22) What is no.2 studying about? (bernice) Possibly another crappy theory for the lame trios with crappy theories or maybe even a new nickname for dearest royroy.
23) When is the last time you had a chat with no.3? (chervelle) That'd be last monday. She didn't come for band today D:
24) What kind of music band does no.8 like? (NingQian) English pop songs that I don't know about.
25) Does no.1 have any siblings? (clarissa) Yeah, a cute little brother who likes to play with us.
26) Will you woo no.3? (chervelle) I might cause she's so pretty and cute! But she's already Chervelle Su.
27) How about no.7? (sophin) ZOMG! I don't like aunties! And she keeps calling me bella -.-
28) Is no.4 single? (edric) From the last time I asked him, yes.
29) What is the surname of no.5? (wenlin) YAP
30) What's the hobby for no.4? (edric) My guess is... watching hentai animes.
31) Does no.5 and 9 get along well? (wenlin and suanying) You think? They might if they even know each other.
32) Where is no.2 studying at? (bernice) XinMin Secondary School!
33) Say something casual about no.1: (clarissa) She Loves herself. *LOVES MOCH*
34) Have you tried developing feelings for no.8? (NingQian) She's way out of my league!
35) Where does no.9 live at? (Suanying) Hmm, good question. That is for you to find out (:
36) What colour does no.3 like? (Chervelle) I'm thinking green?
37) Are no.5 and 1 best friends? (clarissa and wenlin) Not a chance!
38) Does no. 1 have any pets? (Clarissa) YES! I LOVE SNOWY!
39) Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world? (Sophin) Sexy Auntie lol. She likes to open her legs to give everyone a free show.
40) What is no. 10 doing now? (Fion) She might just be singing her chinese pop again.
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
Wednesday, October 22, 2008 ; 7:20 PM {♥}
Was tempted to write another story. Maybe this could unveil my part of the story to you.
Falling raindrops never fail to make me think of you.
That day, the teardrops rolling down your cheeks looked exactly like that.
Pitter-patter, down they fall, crashing against my window. And they sounded like your breaking heart.
Down, down and down they fell.
And all that's left is another puddle of bitter memories.
Of the past, all I could see was you and I, together forever.
Every morning, I would jostle through the commuters, weaving patterns in the crowds as I rushed up the escalator. I would be anxious as the MRT door closes, but you would always be there, smiling at me. I smiled fervently back.
Afternoons were filled with gossip over canteen lunch. Such good memories, and I'm not talking about the food. Just me and you, enjoying the afternoon breeze and later complaining about how difficult it is to eat with your hair flying all over the place.
Evenings passed with long walks home after our CCA, hand in hand, fatigue became a forgotten story left for another time to tell. But at that moment, we had but ourselves. And we talked of dreams and how we were to accomplish them together.
Then, it changed. Or rather, the both of us changed. And neither of us willing to admit it.
You were pretty, rich and popular. The girls adored you and the guys loved you.
You were always in the spotlight, standing proud on the stage, knowing you belonged there in front of everybody and amongst their cheers.
I was just plain old Jane who didn't care to change. I kept my hair short to save the trouble and didn't consent to braces even though my teeth looked like they were knocked crooked with a giant steel hammer. The girls found me irritating and the guys make fun of me. I was always backstage, looking at you, even envying you.
The stage curtain, though only so thin and fragile, sepearted me from you and without noticing, both of us grew into our own worlds. I blended into mine and you stood out in yours.
The world is amazing because it always changes. This story of mine is amazing because we kept changing.
I remember at first how we fought against the barrier between us. I tried to blend into your world and you tried to stand out in mine. But alas, things were not meant to be. It was like placing an ugly pebble in the midst of shining pearls and like throwing a ten-carat diamond in with a pile of rubbish. Slowly, the barrier became a wall and the wall became a gap as wide as the universe. Both of us were trying so hard, but we ended up on the edges of this very gap, where one wrong move can cause you to lose footing and fall down, down, and down.
Then you said, you never wanted to change the way you are. You wanted to be you. It may sound wise to say that but underneath all that, I could see no point. To me, that's how the world is. The world doesn't accept individuals. It functions as a society where no man is an island. You can't expect the world or the society to change for you so you can fit in. The only way to survive is to change yourself for the society and the world's acceptance. When you said you never wanted to change, I grieved for your foolishness.
Your act of folly pushed both of us down the edge and into the gap that we have created ourselves. We began to fall. Both of us wondering when we shall see the end of this gigantic hole that has swallowed us and break into pieces from the crash.
I wondered, is it my fault that it has to become this way? Am I the true antagonist of this tragedy? Is it my cruelty that will prevent me from saving the both of us? You pressed me for a response but I refused to utter a word. Anymore said will kill us both in an instant, that I knew.
Oh Sarah, you fool. I loved you so much before, so it hurts so much now, but still I cannot comprehend you. You are such a mysterious animal that functions in such a way that I could never make any meaning out of. When I thought you would be angry in an instant and confront me, you choose to encourage our being together even though we were always trapped in awkward silences.
Cliche or not, I have to say this. Because I love you, I'm letting you go. Should you stay longer by my side, my dislike for you shall escalate ever more and it shall form so sharp a blade that will be then employed to slice your heart until it bleeds to death. And my cruelty will change me until I can only smirk as I see you writhing in agony. Then my consicence will proceed to kill me just like how I killed you.
I loved you and I'm letting go.
PS: Goodbye to you, my trusted friend. From Jane, to Sarah. With a dozen broken hearts that loved before.
Labels: sentimentals, short stories
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
Tuesday, October 21, 2008 ; 4:53 PM {♥}
To speak or not to speak, that is the question.
I remember holding your hand,
thinking, that it would be this way forever.
But change is the only constant.
Now, I've grown tired of holding your hand.
As the journey goes on, I watch you trip.
You didn't bother getting up,
You didn't want to help yourself.
And I'm tired from dragging you all around.
My hands grow weary.
And even though I've let go,
You're the one who's clutching onto my hand.
When thoughts of betrayal arise,
Guilt follows behind, gnawing at my conscience.
I begin to doubt myself.
Is it because I am not pulling hard enough?
Is it because I didn't help you up?
Or maybe even, I had grown to enjoy watching you fall?
I understand the feeling of being left behind all too well.
The emptiness that one must feel,
The heartache that one must endure,
The bitterness that one must suffer from
And most important, the feeling of betrayal.
I know, for I had once felt so.
So I hesitate when the realisation hits me.
Having been relieved of this pain and heartache,
I am now ready to entrust this burden upon you.
Is this cruelty? Or heartlessness?
I know, it's both.
I know it must be hard on you
as it is on us.
But I beg of you, please bless us with the gift of time,
For time is known to be the most efficient healer.
Perhaps distance will increase our desire for friendship
Like how closeness made our dislike boil into detest.
Let it rest now,
When I am still able to think of your pains and be perplexed.
Let it rest now,
Before the only thing I can conjure of you is disgust.
Leave it be, leave it be, leave it be.
Labels: diary, sentimentals
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
