Saturday, February 28, 2009 ; 9:48 PM {♥}
Sick and tired of facing you.
Sick and tired of you telling me I'm not trying hard enough.
Sick and tired of watching you find excuses.
Sick and tired of hearing you say how much you love b**d
Sick and tired of you trying to force your way back into the world you no longer belong to.
Sick and tired of you, you and just you.
We used to be happy together, but now we're even happier without you.
You love the b**d but unfortunately, we don't love you back. And I bet you didn't even know that.
Under the covers, are you really sure about how we feel towards you?
The answer is no, but you don't know it.
tag replies.
Gavin// linked :D
MS. SOPHS// I'M NOT MS. JINX >.< and obviously gay fits me :D I'm GAY!
Isabel// linked :D JIA YOU FOR SYF! Loves your harp!
Binx2// It's okay, extreme gayness was what I was looking for :D Haha, are you trying to hint to me that you already found it?
Eli// JIA YOU TOO :D Loves cellos!
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
Saturday, February 21, 2009 ; 9:27 PM {♥}
I suddenly remembered about a short story I thought about a long time ago. So I've decided to pen it down lest I forget it forever.
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"Go and take your bath now! And stop sitting in front of the computer for the whole day! It spoils your eyesight! Do you want to become like me in the future and can't see anything?!"
I could still remember my grandmother 's nagging from yesterday. But today, I'm standing here, twenty-four hours later, staring into a dark wooden coffin.
Her ancient face seemed to stare back at me even though her eyes were closed. Even with the excessive make-up, I could still notice the paleness and stiffness of her skin. My grandmother... in a coffin?!
I looked around, frantically, hoping to find someone who could explain the situation but then I saw my father sitting in a corner, his face ashen white. My father is a tough man, a masochist. But this time there were tears rolling down his face unstopped. He used to say "real men don't shed tears easily"... what happened to that?
My aunt was kneeling down beside father, howling in distress.
"Mother! Mother! How could you leave us so suddenly!" She weeped piteously, with every sob pulling at my heart.
Grandmother... is dead?
I finally understood. Grandmother is gone forever. Somehow, I felt sad. Why is that? I thought I hated my grandmother. I thought I wished she was gone. And now that she is gone, why am I feeling sad?
A blackout... and suddenly, I'm blinded by a flash of white light. I saw myself sitting in front of the computer as usual, listening to music casually. Is this a memory? I continued to watch this scene in silence.
My grandmother hobbled into the room slowly and sighed as she saw me.
"Dinner is ready! Go bathe and eat now!" She nagged irritably, shaking her head. I saw myself roll my eyes and ignore her. My grandmother stood there staring at me for a long time, before walking away with a sigh. I followed her, leaving "myself" behind. Grandmother entered the kitchen and scooped out a portion of the night's dinner. She kept the food in the thermo box an walked away again.
No wonder I always had warm dinners regardless of how late I ate.
Another flash of light. I'm now in the shopping mall near my house. The crowds hustled and bustled around as usual. I saw my grandmother in the midst of the people. She wore a worried look as she squinted around anxiously.
"Meimei!" She grabbed a stranger girl's arm with relief. The girl slapped her hand in disgust and snorted: "You're mistaken, let go!". She hurried away before my grandmother could say sorry. Once again, my grandmother squinted around anxiously. She was looking for me? I saw 'myself' pushing past the crowd now, making 'my' way to her.
"Ah ma! Where have you been?! Follow us closely!" 'I' said irritably as 'I' came up to her.
"Meimei! Sorry..." I felt a pang of regret as grandmother bit her lip and apologised. Only until now, did I see the tears welling up behind her glazed eyes as she held onto my hand. She swallowed hard, pushing the tears back in.
What have I done?
Now we were in the car. I could see my grandmother sitting at one and of the car and beside her, at the other end, was 'me'. My grandmother took a glance towards me and placed her hand on the seat just as 'I' did. Slowly, she inched her hand towards mine. 'I' was looking out of the window, ignoring her. She reached out to hold my hand, but hesitated and pulled back. I could see the sorrow in her eyes now. The sorrow of not being able to get close to her grandaughter.
How could I not have noticed?
It was night now. I'm at home. I could see myself lying in bed. Grandmother suddenly walks out of her room. I followed her to the ancestral table where the buddha statue stood. Violent coughing could be heard from my room. Isn't this the time when I got really sick? Grandmother looked towards my room with a worried face. She kneeled down in front of the buddha and prayed faithfully.
"Please let my grandaughter be well and I shall give up a few years of my life." She plead with tears in her eyes and kowtowed, and kowtowed, and kowtowed... until there was a slight bruise on her forehead. Then she silently stood up and returned into her room.
Another flash of white light. I'm back at the funeral hall.
A cold wind brushed past me and my face felt wet. I stooped over the coffin to have a last look, tears falling against onto the dark wood. My grandmother... is probably in heaven now. I prayed fervently for her and kneeled down. My tears turning to violent sobs now.
I'm sorry, Ah Ma, I'm sorry. I now know that I love you so much.
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(end of story)
dedicated to my grandmother because I'll never have the courage to tell her that I love her and that I know all that she's done for me.
Labels: sentimentals, short stories
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
; 9:14 PM {♥}
In an attempt to revamp my blog,
I've decided to go for a big change!
So there you have it! From EMO--------------> GAY!
Haha, I'm quite proud of this skin, ya know :D It fits me well, I think! I love the purple spider pattern in the background! So adorable :D
OOPS, look at the time! And I haven't started on homework :X
BUH-BYE!
Labels: diary
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
Tuesday, February 17, 2009 ; 10:25 PM {♥}
My inner mind state is like a stretching rubber bung now. Hmm, wonders when it will snap.
These days, emotions have overrun my mind. Maybe it's because of stress or whatever, but, not all the emotions are bad :D
I got an idea for a new story that I'd like to try writing when I have time while I was on the bus (:
Anyway, I've decided to try to buck up! I want to master credentium! And perfect my tuning! Even though I don't know if I will quit band or not in year five (since you never know the future), I want to at least leave without regrets. I don't want to leave a mess for my juniors to clean up and just cheer them on, pinning on them all the hopes I have for the band to get back up.
I want to leave behind a legacy :/
I know it's hard, so I hope I can at least pull through. Doesn't matter if we get a gold or not. Just as long as I did my very best :D
Found this on Bin's facebook! Hope I can regain my lao niang spirit! Aja Aja Fighting!
tag replies:
MR. KENGS// Of course you like my blog song! I have good taste, okay? Haha,
bass trombone taste :DMS. SOPHS// YES, everybody kena influenced by me now. Even the seniors are
using MR. and MS :D Yay, little men and misses trombones!MS. WENS// haha, I used to have dog phobia too! But I think they're too cute
to resist in the end :DRosy// YESH, okay, NANA! I linked you :D And of course my dog is cute! Cuter
than Bin's :DBinBin// Are you sure?! You'd better start finding now then, I think you'll
take a long search :D
Labels: diary, sentimentals
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
Saturday, February 07, 2009 ; 4:29 PM {♥}
TADAA!
MS. JINGS is hereby officially introducing her new target: KIM SANG BUM :D
Even though I feel a little bad for all his other fans, BUT, nobody snatches from the great MS. JINGS :D
He's mine now :D
Labels: diary
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
Sunday, February 01, 2009 ; 3:59 PM {♥}
And now, finally for some tag replies :D
MS. SOPHS// Haha, yeahyeahyeah, you are THE light. I shall come look for you the next time there's a blackout :D You can decide where to go for sectional outing! Go somewhere cheap please!
MR. KENGS// WAHH! My emo-ness kena zapped by you luh. But actually you emo more than me can? I should go zap your emo-ness too XD
MS. WENS// LOL. yay, wenlin must change name to MS. WENS too X) ZOMG, then all the tbones can become the little Men and Little Miss trombones. Haha!
Nic// Haha, that was just the first impression luh. Now don't have luh.
BinBin// Even if I'm random, also not as random as you :D You always randomly attack people's boobs! Tsktsk, must be more demure and conservative. kay? Next time nobody want to marry you luh.
Labels: tag replies
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
; 3:50 PM {♥}
Yeah man, I realized something after yesterday.
I'm a bitch, seriously.
Bitching about someone is extremely fun, especially about that someone. I don't know why but the things that you do, is stupidly and insanely funny. Well, I guess it's not good to talk behind someone's back so...
I shall start repenting now.
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One second of repenting has been done.
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Okay, I think I'm forgiven, right? At least I repented for one second :D I'm sure that's more than enough.
Okay! Ready for more bitching again!
Haha, anyway, had fun talking to everybody yesterday. It was so enjoyable...
Even though that ridiculous Auntie escaped without returning my beloved purple pencil, but still, it was a whole lot of fun.
I think I really bonded with my juniors yesterday :D It's these kind of things that make me feel more motivated for band. It makes me love my juniors more so I want to see them again soon! When's the next band practice man?
I've decided. I shall stay if my juniors do too! They're just too adorable to abandon, haha.
Realized that I haven't ever posted a picture of my Sora for you guys...
so here you go!
BUH-BYE!
Labels: diary, rambles, sentimentals
Yours sincerely, MS. JINGS {♥}
